I Choose...Happy.

       Man, it is so easy to get stuck in a funk. It starts with a bad day, or a bad mood, or a bad situation or just merely a bad thought. Those things grow and grow and before you know it, have manifested into this big ugly funk that you absolutely just can not get out of. Lately, I've been stuck in what has seemed like weeks on end of nothing but terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. I've been in a perpetually bad mood, been really down on myself and I've given my little self esteem quite the arse whooping.
      Needless to say, this negativity has started to affect me in the mothering department. It's sad that I had to let it get to that point before I decided to do something about it. My little Cam pointed out that I'm always grumpy and need more patience. Geeze, talk about something that'll get you off your rear and doing something about it. So, yesterday I went for a long run in the woods and it worked a miracle on my soul. Running is a wonderful companion. It helps clear the head, give perspective.
       When I look at my life, I see a lot of things that I could easily use as excuses to be down and out. Loneliness, uncertainty of the future, failure, single parenting (or attempting to at least), beat down ego, did I mention loneliness? But I can also look at my life and find so many MORE things to be thankful for and happy about. Two beautiful, healthy, happy little girls, an amazing family and support group, wonderful, encouraging friends, a bright, hopeful future, the most phenomenal church family, a loving heavenly Father, two legs that I am able to run with...it's endless. So, really, when I compare the list of things to be sad about to the list of things to be happy about...I realize I have absolutely NO ground to stand on when it comes to choosing to be sad. I am infinitely blessed and it's quite absurd to focus on the few negatives.

Supermom?

       We all have our weaknesses, right? I'll admit, I have a few. One of my few is roaches. Spiders? Nah. Snakes? Nah. Extreme heights? Bring it on. Sharks? Psh. A big fat cockroach? I'll wet my pants. Can't stand those creepy, nasty, turd brown, ugly suckers. Bring into the equation having to kill one of those bad boys and I'm like a baby in diapers. That horrible crunch when you have to smoosh it makes me CRINGE. Camille has picked up on this fear of mine and has thus developed her own fear of them. And now that I am the Mommy and Daddy of the house, guess who's responsible for taking care of one that makes an appearance? Oh yes, it's me. Usually, my solution is to scream and run. Or, my favorite, spray and run. A few days later you'll discover the dead devil bug and all is well in the Wyatt/ McGlothin household again. Last night, while Camille was at church, one of these nasty guys made an appearance in my kitchen. Ew, he was big. And he didn't run when he saw me...which left no other option than to kill him. I wanted to spray him but he was on my counter. So, this old scaredy cat grabbed the fly swatter and, yes...I smacked him. I made some kind of ungodly loud noise when the swatter made contact with the beast, so I didn't have to hear that nails on chalkboard crunch. Mission : Accomplished.
       Im sure at this point you're wondering where this is going. Well, when I picked up my Cam from church I told her about the roach. I then told her that I actually killed it and when I say that my child's face lit up like a Christmas tree, I am not exaggerating. She was sooooo proud of her Mama and she said, "Mommy, you can be a good Mommy now! And I can stop hitting Lily!" I didn't understand exactly what that meant until this morning when my sister pointed out that because I overcame one of my weaknesses, Camille was then ready to overcome one of hers. It's easy to forget what an impact I have on my children. I forget that they look to me to learn everything. That's scary, guys! I am so far from perfect, and to think they are learning most of their life lessons from me is beyond terrifying. But this is a journey for all three of us. A journey full of life lessons...and this one began with a fly swatter and a roach.
     


      "Be the superhero your child sees you as."

                                                      Tara Kennedy Kline